Have you ever had the persistent feeling that something significant is missing, even when everything appears to be in order on the outside? We frequently live our lives responding to deadlines, social media or societal definitions of “success,” and external expectations. It turns out that we live in a house that was constructed using someone else’s blueprint. However, real, profound fulfillment comes from becoming our Inner Architect and taking deliberate effort to create a life that is entirely consistent with our core beliefs rather than with striving for what we ought to desire. Asking yourself, “What are the foundational principles I want my life to be built upon?” is the first step in this process.
An architect must establish the foundation before building any walls. Your essential values serve as this foundation in life design. These are the unchangeable convictions that guide your greatest choices; they are not aspirational goals. Consider your proudest, most alive, or most angry moments; these feelings frequently indicate your values (e.g., integrity, connection, freedom, creativity). Reducing your list to three or five core values is a useful exercise. You have a strong, unique compass when you realize that “Connection” is more significant than “Status,” or that “Health” is more significant than “Constant Hustle.” This clarity makes every subsequent decision—from career moves to spending habits—feel less like a guess and more like an informed choice.
The next stage after determining your ideals is to turn that theoretical underpinning into tangible action, such as the architectural framework. This entails examining how you currently allocate your most valuable resources, such as time and energy. Examine your budget and schedule to see if they align with the values you determined. Your life structure is actively at odds with your design if your primary value is “Family,” but you work sixty hours a week and check your email on the weekends. The secret is to begin making deliberate, tiny changes. This could be setting out a time for “unplugged” dinners, firmly declining a commitment that depletes your energy, or even redirecting funds from pointless purchases to something that aligns with your values of “Adventure” or “Learning.”
Creating a life that is in line with your values is a continuous process. As you mature, your values may change a little, and your life structure must change as well, much like a building needs upkeep. Regular, gentle self-audits are necessary for this. Check in once a month: This week, are I upholding my highest value? Where am I allowing outside noise to control my inner decisions? Being your inner architect has the advantage of giving you the power to remove a wall that isn’t working for you and install a window where you need more light. You can make sure that the life you are actively creating is not merely successful by any standard but truly, truly yours by constantly comparing your actions to your deepest truths.